My Room, My Office

Is been months that i'm not staying home in the room we used to share our life. i'm not sure when i'll be ready to go back to face the room & stay in it again. Nothing changes. the bedsheet, the towel, the bottle of drink, my feeling for her. i can't even bring myself to wash the shirt that i wore hugging her the last time... i can't bring myself to wear the shirt she wash & iron for me for the last time. i can't even bring myself to go back to my office to work cos it will remind me of her. i don't see the need to achieve, to excel in my career anymore. i tender my resignation. but boss told me he will take me on no pay leave. i can go back anytime, as long as i'm ready, whenever i'm ready to. it must be very painful for her to make the decision to leave me. but i left her with no choice. 他爱的人却伤他最深。本来应该给他幸福的人却只给了他恶梦。我怎么这么笨？why & how can i make such horrible mistake? i miss her but i doubt i have the courage or dare to see/face her again even if she's willing to see me again. i don't know how to face the hurt i've brought her in her life. so just keep it this way that she doesn't want to see me again as long as she's happy. that's the least i can give her or do for her now- stay away from her.