Gene

It seems like is running in the gene of the family. my family people tends to give up easily. early morning i was awake by 4th sis call. *mum was staying at her place but she suddenly refuse to eat or drink much since sunday morning till now. than our younger sis attempted suicide by cutting her wrist last night. fortunately she was discovered by her son, than 2nd sis rushed her to hospital & save her in time(我们廖家人的命都很硬噢）. so i drop by to visit mum. mum was saying words showing sign of depress. i feel weird i had to say words of concern & encouragement towards mum cos i'm not close to her, in fact very distance about her.
Than i went to swim. what a nice, good, weather to relax. Putting everything behind, not to think about it for a moment, just concentrate on my laps.
I told my therapist i'm not going to avoid facing my fear, my lost. I will face everything that remind me of her. Becos i need to know, i need to learn how to face it, handle it & overcome it. only when i can face it & control it, than i'm going towards the direction of recovering. or else what's going to happen if i've got no choice but to face everything that remind me of her... allow myself to crash again? no. if i can lead a life being able to sleep & eat well, feeling ok even when i think of her & the past, than i have succeed. so far, i'm so good.
*mum= biological mum, not that woman.