Thursday, October 9, 2008

Another Bad dream, Worst, Nightmare...

I woke up feeling lousy, kind of depress, sad, lost... Than I go to work. It was a rainny day, so business was ok. Moreover I've got to stop early to have dinner with my brother at Sis place.

My brother going for oversea posting tomorrow. Will be back 3 months later, than if he feels ok about it he will be there for another year. He told me there still vacancies in the company, do i want to join him. I told him to tell me more when he's back & I'll decide. Right now, concentrate on driving my taxi 1st.

I can feel the effect of alcohol reacting in my body on the negative way. Think I'm drinking too much already. Must cut down or control the intake. My knee is aching, I'm feeling a bit down. But I just don't feel like going back early, do nothing & watch TV. Of course I can keep driving, bringing more income, but is the emptiness & loneliness that I can't bear. I'm still going back to nobody after a tired day of work. I must learn to cope with it.

I wanted to call her badly, but I know I can't. I just don't want, or can't bear to frighten her again.

I have this silly thought, maybe she will only see me again when I'm very sick. Than I wish I'm sick. Hahaha...

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