Not a Good day To travel

This morning I'm departing to Hk for 4days trip with gf. But it didn't started well.

1st while waiting for cab, it started to rain heavily. With the morning rush of children going to school, it make everything worst when I need to stand by the road to hail for a cab but the parents are all stopping infront of where I am standing to alight their precious kid to school.

Than I have a very talktive gf who talk to me non stop during the journey from house to airport, to check-in, to the deaparting lounge, to the plane- A380, finally she's diverted by the plane in-flight entertainment system, but still she talk on & off, than arrival in HK. Just when I thought everything is going to be fine, I was told I needed to wait for the complimentry bus ride for about 40mins, than someone didn't show up in time, we left airport at 3pm when we actually touchdown at 1:20pm. We took a nap, than upon reaching hotel, we queue 20mins to check in but was told the room was not ready till 6pm. What the hxxx, I keep my cool, took a sit @ the lounge with the complimentry drink offered. Realised forgot to bring my cigratte, went out to buy 1 pack than it taste awful....

Now I am still waiting, in another 20mins time I hope I can finally settle my bags in the room & start my eating, shopping trip in HK.

Cross my finger & hope after all the waiting I can finally put the bad things behind & have a good holiday & her b/d in HK.

Tomorrow we are going to disney...

Sat we plan to go The Peak for dinner... prior to that we are going to shop at Nathan Road

Sun I'll be back again...

Mon start work again...

Start saving $$$ again to go another trip...

Which One You Belongs To

We have all kinds (rude/stupid/idoit) people (driver/commuter/pedestrain) on the road.

Driver: Try to be ganster at times when they are being horn. Try to be reborn soon by driving like F1. Think they own the roads.

Commuter: Since they are paying fares for trip, they are so big shot. They don't understand what the labels are writing on.

Pedestrain: Why are they always so rush to cross the road even when the red little man already there.

Speak English but Don't understand English...

Some people like to behave they are very educated, using all the proper english words when speaking, some dress so pro, speak so pro, but I really wonder what kind of education they received & where.

Is stated clearly in my taxi label that "No Eating & No Drinking", "Do not Little", "Please fasten seatbelt" etc... but they don't understand at all.

So please don't try to show off your IQ, intelligent or educational level towards me. You are disgusting & disgracing yourself & those who had taught you in the past.

I'm not a Racist, but...

Maybe I'm just bad luck,maybe is true, I really dislike, hate, those I people.

1st: The I kids, they are the most irritating, annoying kids for most of the passenger with kids. They are ill manners, noisy & worst of all itchy hands. In fact I ever met 1 few I adults just as itchy hands as kids.

2nd: The I educated adult. Full of attitude, like they are the smartest & riches in S'pore. Come on, if I know the Caucasian works here stay in landed, while the co. can easily put you up in just condo, becos that's what you deserve only & if you ever dare to ask for more, than forget it, I'll get someone else. I don't think I'll ever dare to be too proud or show off to people.

3rd: The average I people. Due to different lifestyle, most of them really smells a bit not to my liking.

As i said I'm not a racist, sad to say that, of all 10 I passenger, I have 7 unpleasant experience with them or their kids.

Maybe they are just feeling inferior becos most of the ppl frm their country are here as cheap labour. So all this upper class ppl must show off to ppl like us, the taxi driver, the sales, the customer rep, the cashier, the receptionist... the not executive, pro ppl.

The richest ppl in the world are the most norm looking ppl like us. They don't show off their wealth cos they don't see the need to. When you need to show off your wealth, you are just feeling inferior & small... poor thing...

My Baby Went Home

Baby went back Guangzhou for a wk holiday. Than as I called her after she went into the departure hall, I can hear that she's crying. I felt bad...I can feel her love for me so much.

Well is going to be a week before she's back. I'm going to make use of the chance to clear my room entirely,change bed sheet,laundry...whatever i can think of....

Am glad she had reached home safely...baby enjoy yourself...& i'll see you next weekend. Take care & I'll miss you.

Partnership... ???

Recently can't help but start wondering... am I a person suitable to be in a relationship?

Maybe I'm behaving what I am now becos I know she's not the one for me but I don't mind a companion now.

Maybe I do love her.

I enjoy being love by someone so much after so long.

Such difference & gap in our life that I don't really want to bring her to meet some of my friends. I know she will not enjoy & it will affect me. She won't be able to click into that group. In fact some of my friends really tell me frankly about it. But I'm glad some of my buddy just like & enjoy her present.

I maybe harsh on her at times, but I really mean well for her.

At my age, there's nothing much I can or I want to ask for anymore.

Disgrace to woman

Been cabby for a yr, met all kind of people: kind & gentle, rude & rough, beautiful/pretty/sweet, ugly/ugly/ugly, different race, different age, generous & stingy, nice & unreasonable... so many...

Than today, this lady who dress well & elegant looking, talk politely, borded @ Vivo to CBD area. She's carrying a paper bag, with e brand C. During the journey, I heard her taking out the stuff, noises like pulling out the price tag & wrapper, than it went quiet few mins b4 destination. She was sitting behind me, after alighting, I took a usual quick glance to make sure nothing left on the seat & drove off.

On the same taxi stand I've got a passenger came in with light dressing, nothing on hands going to Katong. After she alighted, I drop a coin, so went down to the back seat 2 retrieve it. when I open the door, saw this paper bag & price tag, & the wrapper & pouch was on the back seat cabin floor. She conviniently throw the rubbish inside the taxi.

What is the world becoming???

USA

My niece S leaving in Sept to Florida Disney for 5mths attachment. How I envy her... I never had the chance cos I did not study well heehee...

I hope I can save up enough to visit her while she's still there. Than I need to plan a trip with my gf on her b/d. I'm also thinking of visiting her when she's back guangzhou during CNY. So many plan, places hoping to go but with so limited $$$ hahaha...

If I work hard enough I'm actually capable of making all plan & trip come true. But I'm actually very slack.

Somewhere in mid sept I will be having a wk of freedom, I really think & believe I'll enjoy the moment serenity....

This is going to be a busy wkend. BBQ... shopping... eating... drinking... mj...

1 Year

My taxi no 2168: 1st prize on 02/08/09 but sadly I did not bet on it. Or else heehee... but now only dream on...

People/s I met: Unaccountable.
Friends/s I pick as passenger: Alison, Annie, Mingwei, Palani...they are long lost friend, secondary schoolmate, primary schoolmate, ex-colleague.
Than some passenger I repeated picking them in different time & location, even oncall... some recognise me, some i recognise them.
Also saw my friend on the road while driving...

This is my experience for a year as cabby. More to come... so the chances or probability for us to meet up, not too high, but not zero as well.

My niece S leaving next month to US for 5mths attachment. Will be having a family gathering/bbq on 22/08/09.

I'm coping well, living well with life. Still get angry at times with idiot, rude people, but not too long, afterall I'm still a human, 我不会拿别人的错误来惩罚自己，at least not for long.

Is been a year

Went for my monthly review today. We talk about my progress, I'm doing fine, coping well... Than I think back what had happened, again I must thank few people. I won't be who I am, where am I today if without their support, their help.

I don't take for granted of what I have achieved today. Neither am I going to repeat my mistake again, I hope I can maintain the stability of mind & heart. I'm 1yr old now hahaha still learning...

e filing---Driving me CRAZY

I hated it. I had to declare my income as a cabby, but when I login, the msg was I'm not required to. So do I, or do I not????

I'm going to get help tomorrow after sending my car for check on weird noise. I just went for servicing last week, it was still fine before they service it. I remember the technician asking me any problem with the car, hear any noise? Told them no, everything perfectly well, than now...

Bought new washing machine. Good deal. Samsung @ $239 + $20 for delivery. Is diamond drum... suppose to be better... I'm so broke now...

She done everything...

Is sunday, my rest day, as well as my housekeeping day. But I've got nothing to do today. She done everything while I was out working yesterday.

She done the laundry, ironed the colthes, tidy & clean the room... I was shocked when I reach home... I'm speechless... I'm touched by her... but I do not want to feel too attach or dependent on her...

I brought her to Aunt place, than Aunt was tellling me when she saw her, she's angry... she's afraid that history will repeat again... well I just want her to know, S incident had dealth me with such extend of humilation that I won't want it to happen again cos my ego & pride will stop me from doing so. Nobody know what will happen in future, I had been telling friends that I will not let it happen again. But if I'm always single, nobody know whether can I really handle it or not. Remember I always said I'll face my fear & weakest link & I'm doing it now. I did not purposely find a person to prove it. Her presence in my life was what I called it fate or destiny.

I still remind myself she's young, she's not local. She will not be with me for life. When she want to go, need to go, let her go. I just revert back to a life before I met her. Enjoy my work & the serensity of being alone. Right now, I enjoy her companionship, her love for me, someone to share a life with me.

Dettol

Am so glad I've got such big bottle of dettol at home. A solid 5 liters hahaha, not only germs, virus can't survive, all bugs & roaches also die. Think about it, even human being can't survive.

Got so mad with the bugs that I mixed such thick solution & spray it on my sofa bed, the floor, the pillow, the cushion, table...etc.. that i almost got myself choked till death....

but the effect seems good, bugs seems disappearing, I'm happy with the result. will keep up the spraying for the next few weeks, but make sure I'm leaving the room right after spraying.

my room is in a mess...

Invasion

She's afterall, finally, eventually moved into my place. Maybe she had planned everything, dug the hole, set the trap, waiting for me to fall into it.

This is her 1st week of settling in. Becos of her I do another round of clear up of room, throw some stuff again. She really had awfully lots of stuff. Woman.... I'm just tired & sick of helping her to shift from place to place. 6 weeks, 2 places, than all her friends are trouble maker.

Still I make myself very clear, if I can't get use to have another person staying with me, she will have to move out.

Than just when i think she had invaded into my life, bugs had invaded into my living space as well. We were both bitten badly. What can I do to get rid of them?

I'll be busy till next weekend cos I need to settle her, tidy room, laundry... de-bugs... i hope she start work soon than i'll get my space at home when she not around.

Gentleman

Gentleman: Not only towards or infornt of the girl you like, but everybody. Be it a friend or enemy. Be it you like or dislike the person. Whether they love or hate you.

If you like the person, but they don't feel the same for you, what will you do, how will you react?
Still treat them like friend, wait for a chance? Or avoid them, not even as friend?

If the person you like fell for your friend?
Drift away from them? Or...

Dating/In Relationship/Partnership (Marraige)

What's the different?

Dating: Seeing each other but not in relationship. Stage before into relationship. Stage where 2 person trying to know each other in the beginning & try to figure out they can work it out or not. They are still friend, status still open.

In relationship: Pass the dating stage. 2 person decided to work out something more than friendship. Status= Attach. Not available anymore but subject to changes. Certain level of committment & promise is a must if the 2 are thinking of partnership in future.

Partnership (marriage): When 2 decided to live a life together. Full committment is a must. Promise must be kept.

Me & her: Passed dating.
In relationship??????
Partnership..... NO NO NO

We don't see each other everyday but talk on the phone daily (这是必须的）
We spent time with each other during weekend （这是必须的）
She's a nice girl. I'm just lucky & fortunate.

Is Not A Game...

That's what she told/said to me... I'm speechless...

I tried/attempted to stop this "game", but... I swear I'll not mention it to her again for the time being.

Than I try to find fault at her... I surrender in the end...

就像她所说的：你死定了。。。

被爱是幸福？

My status is changing from single to... ... attach... ... but I'm still not giving her any commitment & promise. I still keep my pact of we'll talk about it 3mths later. She's giving me lots of attention lately. When I needed those affection attention from my past relationship, didn't quite get it from her, but now I'm not expecting anything from anybody, I'm getting it without the need to ask from her.

My greatest barrier still the age gap. She's so young, I know her feeling will change as she grow. So should I just enjoy this moment of companionship? Let nature take its course... That's the reason I keep my feeling within control. History will not repeat again. This is a promise I gave to all friends & family member, to all those who care for me, who had been with me, supported me all these while. I am not going to fail or disappoint them again or anymore.

In the past, I prostrate a very good image during the beginning when we are together. I hide dark side from them. But this time, I was slowly telling her things from my past. I want her to know the real me. Not only the good side of me, but the weak & ugly side of me as well. I can't control how she feel for me, but I am slowing down.

No doubt I'm enjoying her affectionate attention. I can see from her face, her eyes that she's happy, she's enjoying giving me the attention. I don't want ot think too much at this moment.

Playful Mode = Playing With Fire

Have I went overboard this time? I don't want to get hurt neither do I want to hurt others. So I choose to be playful. I'm still not ready for a relationship, I do not want to give commitment, I don't want any promise. I keep feeling within control... But what if she's serious, will I be misleading her or hurting her when things doesn't turn out the way she wants it to be.

Didn't realise that S had such impact on my life that change me so much. Well keeping my feeling in control, in a very relax & playful mode. Becos I know my weakness now, I tackle it carefully when it involve feelings. But it also seems like I'm playing with fire or explosive, not me but the other party... Hahaha... But no doubt is very fun to be in a game...

Is all my ego & hunting instinct at fault.

CNY

Have been drinking almost this whole week. But I enjoy each & every day. I meet up with family & friends. S, thanks you. You have suffered a lot in order for me to gain back such life. But is a pity that we can't meet up with common friends to have fun together. Well, I wish you all the best.

Than I'm back to my playful & nonsense me. I know I'm not a person suitable for relationship cos I tends to commit too much. I'd prefer to keep my feeling in control so that I don't get too dependent, too attach to a person. Maintain a certain level of freedom, distance, that will be fine for me. We can't change the history, the fact that things had happened, but we can certainly keep our future in control. Our future is for us to create.

男人不坏，女人不爱。Think is quite true. But don't go overboard being bad.

Happy 牛 Year 恭喜发财

For us chinese, is the beginning of our lunar calender, new year, ox year. Yeah, I like it.

As usual, dinner, than friends came over to play mj, poker cards, breakfast, home. Whenever E talk about her, I don't know how to react. Becos I know she's only treating us as friend. Yes I have said that nothing is impossible. But for her case, I would advice E to slow down 1st. At this moment is not time to plan her as gf target yet.

I was so tired on CNY 1st day. 5th aunt ask me whether going grandma place or not. Told her no cos S will be there. I'll visit them some other day. Than TV was showing CJ7 on CNY 2nd day. I still felt tired after sleeping early last nite & I've got to go few friends place later. CNY is so tiring. Clearing the house, getting new stuff, oh expensive as well.

Hey everybody, 发财发财，all the best. CJ7- funny show.

Is Time To Put On Weight

Lunar New Year is near the corner. Let's see I manage to put on some weight or not. I'm feeling happy, so when a person is happy, putting on some weight is norm.

J=Bkk again. I wish I can travel like I used to be but I had other plans for saving $$$ now. heeheehee...

Another advance step for me. I forgotten which date S left last year. It was sometime between this few days. Well I was busy meeting up with friends & work, hence no time for all these "stupid" recall. Why leave memory space in my brain for such thing. I have selective memory now. I remember what I need to know but choose to let go or forget what is of no use to me.

Went drinking with ex-colleague last night. When I look at them, heard what they told me about SF, I'm glad I have left, I don't regret on my choice. I'm worried how much longer can they hold on... with such management team... From expanding when I join, till now going down the hill after I left. They still don't see the problem... Well when you have a incompetence boss, that's what will happen to a company.

I felt proud when I told them I'm driving a cab. I'm not a executive anymore but I'm leading a better life.

Is a busy weekend for me...

Let Go

It's not the truth that hurts us but letting go of the lies.
You never lose by loving. You always lose by holding back.
真相从不伤人，唯一伤痛的是要去放开自欺欺人的谎言。
人不会因为勇敢去爱而输掉什么。只有当你封死感情，不肯付出的时候，你才会输掉一切。

2009 = Good/Bad???

Many were saying 2009 not a good year cos with the economy downturn, how to be good.
Than some say they 犯太岁, also not good for them.
But I'm the least affected by it. Whether good or bad, is in yourself. If you don't let it affect you, is always good. But if worried too much, than you'll be stress by it. Maybe I had the luxury of being carefree cos I'm single & w/o any burden nor commitment.

E went HK for holiday. Than I went beering with gang again. Everyone was so high & happy. 6 of us, 3 towers, in 4hrs. Best part of it was I heard D & W sing again. We all sang. Took some pics, must see it in facebook.

I'm trying to meet up with friends again & I'm meeting up with them.

I hope, I actually believe in 2009, I'll be good, I'll be better cos I had a good start.

Oh ya, when E back, I must bring her to drink cos I want to intro someone to her... hahaha

1/1/2009 Happy New Year

To all friends & family: HAPPY NEW YEAR.

I tried to arrange to meet up with friends & family for countdown, but they have something else on. Than since pick up looks good, I work thru. What can be better than counting down with $$ coming into my pocket. heeheehee... I'm going to have a prosperious year hahaha...

Was stuck at Marine Parade ECP slip road to East Coast Park when fire works going on. So I manage to see a bit of it. Than I make wish in my heart, I wish everybody I know a Happy New Year, Happiness always.

What I wish for myself? As long as people I care are happy, I'm going to be happy too. I may not have friends by my side to welcome 2009, but I'm fine with being alone as well. At least I feel fine, when helping to bring people to party, going home, I'm bringing $$ into my pocket. Is a good idea right?

1200-2100hrs: Work.
2100-2130hrs: Took a break at D'Zess. Bought myself a beer. Just a mug cos I still need to drive.
2130-0200hrs: Work.
The end of the day: $372/- in my pocket.

EL was the 1st to call to send her well wishes. Than follow by friends/family sms. Thanks to those who remember me. All the best to those who had forgotten me.

I called ET but... Oops I'm sorry... think you are inconvenient to answer my call.

Is going to be a relax day for me. Probably dinner at aunt place. No expectation, no disappointment & heat pain. J was so sweet, she gave me some hand make home baked cake for me yesterday. It just bring so much joy & happiness. When you expect nothing & get something, you will really appreciate it. Heard from EL that a friend had a row with gf than gf was angry than refuse to countdown with her. So they don't have a Happy countdown nor new year. Yes, I'm single, alone, but I feel fine. What the point of having a partner when they don't make you happy or bring you happiness.

I'm sure S will be happy. I'll be happy. My friends will be happy. We will be happy as long as we make ourselves happy. You are responsible for making yourself happy not others. $$ can buy fun but not happiness. For me, happiness means at ease with life. Relax & take it easy. Life is not about forgetting, is about letting go.

Is drizzling now, I'm going to embrace my new year with a new life. What past is past, we can't change the history, but the future is for us to create. To be good, to be bad, to be haapy, to be sad, to let go, to hold on.. Is in our hand. Time is best to heal.

Anybody who read my blog: Happy New Year.